Random thoughts about Ian Rankin

Nearly everyone nowadays seems to spend time surfing the internet. Sometimes we are engaged in a useful activity and are actually searching for a valuable piece of information or a website that will provide exactly what we think we need. At other times, it is simply a way of passing the time and then random ideas and sites pop up on our screens and lure us away to another webpage, which may have little or no relevance to the one we have just been browsing.

Recently I was actively searching for something on the internet – although I cannot now recall what it was - when my attention was distracted by the name Ian Rankin. Following that lead was taking me off on a complete tangent, rather like some of the clues that John Rebus follows in the detective novels that I love so much. Needless to say, I went with it and discovered the following quote from Ian Rankin:

“I think most writers are just kids who refuse to grow up. We’re still playing imaginary games with our imaginary friends.”

Thinking on what he said, I realised that it is probably just as well that some of them are imaginary and not real. I personally would not want to be on friendly terms with murderers and serial killers. On the other hand, the police officers and forensic experts would be interesting and less dangerous to know, but in the world of crime fiction you cannot have one without the other.

The quote also reminded me of the shifts I have worked at Arundel Castle and the things that people say to us or that we overhear when they are chatting to their friends and families. Apart from the flippant remarks that “the butler did it in the Library with a poleaxe,” in true Cluedo style, the guides do hear some more thought provoking comments. In particular, I have lost track of the number of times I have had to explain the intricacies of hanging, drawing and quartering after a visitor has read the Third Duke’s death warrant and wondered the reason for the remainder of the sentence after the hanging part. Few of them seem to realise that the condemned person is not hung until they are dead and the technique does not use the long drop, where the victim’s neck should be broken as they fall.

The public also seem to have an almost pathological preoccupation with secret passages and priest holes and insist that every castle and country house should have at least one of each. An ideal response to the question, “Where’s the secret passage?” is to stand stock-still and reply with a completely deadpan expression, “I don’t know. It’s a secret and no-one has told me.” This usually non-plusses the visitor, as he or she cannot tell if you are being serious or sarcastic.

Working in Arundel Castle can actually be quite a surreal experience. You leave home in the morning and drive through modern traffic, or as often happens in the summer, you crawl along in a jam somewhere along the A27. Then you arrive in Arundel, which is an interesting and historical town, but can seem a rather oldy-worldy tourist destination. If a re-enactment is taking place, you wander past history buffs who take their subject very seriously and immerse themselves completely in the period. Joust Week is a typical example, where the re-enactors encamp on the Lower Lawn and then take part in a tournament and other chivalric activities. Then once the guide has signed in it’s time to take up his or her position and face the public, with their myriad of queries and comments.

One advantage for any guides working in the Castle who are crime fiction readers is that during slack moments when there are no visitors about, you can indulge your mind in flights of fancy. We have been known to imagine ways of killing people and then disposing of the body and the murder weapon. Using a log to bludgeon someone to death and then burning the log in one of the fireplaces in the bedroom seemed quite a good option, but as far as I know, no-one has tried putting that plan into action! Yet!

Arundel Castle with some autumn foliage

The Castle is now closed for the winter, so we all find alternative activities to keep us busy. Some people have other jobs, others go on holiday and some catch up with all those tasks that have been put on hold over the summer. For me that includes getting back to writing and in particular that novel that is continually being put on the back burner.

Oh, and I nearly forgot. Ian Rankin’s latest novel, “Rather be the devil,” has been bought for me as a Christmas present, so I’ll have something to read on Boxing Day!

This is a view that Inspector John Rebus would know extremely well - Waverley Station and Calton Cemetery as seen from Edinburgh Castle.